My heart is gone …

My heart is gone …

I want to talk to all of you about Dawn, my heart, the reason for this organization.

I found Dawn 2 months after my heart broke and I thought it would never heal. I lost my boxer, Dozer, my heart and soul. Everyone said he sent Dawn to me to have someone else to focus on and love. God, I love her. She needed me as much as I needed her. We formed a fast and strong bond. I spent weeks sleeping in a dog bed in the floor with her in her healing room. She has been my inspiration and my rock.

In December, Dawn began having panic attacks, severe ones. She has them every single day, many times a day. We have tried medications but nothing has worked. It is miserable and scary for her and us.

We began seeing other changes in her behavior as well. Inability to calm down. Frantic actions. Extreme prey drive towards birds in the air, other dogs, cats. Her aggression in the last month has become severe, even geared toward the human family she loves so dearly.

Physically, Dawn has begun rapidly losing weight. At first, we were pleased, then not so much. This past week, we began to notice a loss in muscle mass. She has a large indented ridge down her back that is painful to her. Her neck is painful. Her head is misshapen. She has mast cell tumors that pop up on her face and rear.

Our vets are at the conclusion that our Dawn has a brain tumor. She shows the majority of the signs. Over weeks of agonizing conversations and many tears, we have made the decision to let her go. This has been a very difficult decision for all involved, our family, and our vets.

I am sitting here writing this on Friday, 3 days before her scheduled euthanasia appointment. I didn’t think I could do it after the fact. This is going to break me. I know deep in my heart that she is miserable, in pain, and unhappy but that doesn’t make it any easier. In the 4 years she has been with me, we have done many great things. I guess the universe felt she had accomplished all she needed to do in her life. Because of this one abused and neglected pit bull, so much love and hope was found. Thanks to Dawn, over 400 pets were rescued and found amazing homes in 3 years. New families were formed. Lifelong friendships were forged. Fighting for Dawn may now be a senior sanctuary instead of a rescue, but her legacy will carry on in that. She is leaving us a legacy of hope, strength, a promise of a happily ever after.

Thank you for loving me, Dawn. Thank you for letting all of us love you. Our tutu wearing Chunky Butt Queen you will forever be. Don’t worry my sweetheart, we’ve got this.